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navigating the bad juju

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THIS IS NOT MY LIFE. [Apr. 21st, 2008|01:18 pm]
navigating the bad juju
motherfucker. i'm currently staying with my mom and dad. i gave up my life in atlanta because i thought i'd find some kind of new motivation down here, no distractions, like some clarity would suddenly be bestowed to me. SIKE! granted, that wasn't the singular reason for leaving; i was dead broke, i wanted to go on the crazy adventure to nicaragua, and i saw that my parents might benefit from having me around to help with all the shit that's been going on with my pops.
my friend jen warned me that moving back home would accomplish the exact opposite of what i was looking for...and she was totally right. negativity abounds! all productivity and growth has ceased upon my arrival.
i was so intensely happy the last few months. i miss that. i'm trying to be positive about this situation, but i don't know what the way out is and it's hard.
things have regressed to exactly where they were for me last year. lost, lost, lost.
i'm heading back up to ATL in 11 days (don't make me count down the hours). Goot and i are going to the french broad bluegrass festie outside asheville and it is going to be FUUUUUN chocolates, camping, making out, music. friends, beer, life water + vodka all day (stay hydrated kids!)
i think i may have hopped off that ride too soon. i miss my friends, live music, day-to-night ragers, the brickstore, my job.
i can't do it here. this is not the place for me, and i know it for sure. thank god!
"moving back to florida is like admitting you were wrong."
ok enough depressing bullshit. it is actually a really beautiful day, so i should try to enjoy it.
link2 going 1,000 miles per second|idiot, slow down

26 looms [Mar. 6th, 2008|08:12 pm]
navigating the bad juju
word, son.
I've said it before, and hopefully i'll say it again.
past few weeks have been stellar.
today is the most beautiful day-spring is coming to atlanta just as I'm leaving, but i'm soaking it up these last days.
I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart). wherever I go you go.

it is INSANELY awesome having an ipod again--i sped down the highway yesterday belting out gin&juoce at high speeds, and it was glorious.
anyway. happy girl.
linkidiot, slow down

i'm dying for some fucking humidity. [Feb. 28th, 2008|12:35 am]
navigating the bad juju
30 degrees today? seriously?? come oooooon, dude.
anyway, it's getting close to departure time. adios atlanta, for now.
i really am leaving the country for 3 weeks. this is the kind of thing i can appreciate about myself. i should probably stop spending all the cash i'm earning on booze and start saving it for booze in the third world.
packing and moving sucks ass.
early bday present from michael goot -- new ipod!! having music at my fingertips everywhere with me is priceless. wow.
timing is crazy on this. dude is awesome and it will be sucky not seeing his face everyday, but i gotta get out there. and i think, if things are meant to happen, they will. people you love don't just go away forever. it's 4 years later and marley and i are heading off on an adventure i never would have imagined when we parted ways so long ago, still great friends and crossing paths all the time!

i've been listening to a lot of great music lately. favorite is the new rogue wave, and the last neko case. amazing.

i am so excited about the next 10 months. 10 years. forever from now. everything gets good.
link1 going 1,000 miles per second|idiot, slow down

one more supper [Feb. 13th, 2008|07:57 pm]
navigating the bad juju
today was a good day.
my dad and i talked about what i want to do, and i think he's pretty happy about it. we laughed alot about nothing in particular.
we all talked and laughed together at dinner, mostly my dad and i at my mom for having had too much wine.

i don't know what will happen tomorrow. obviously i am hoping for the best, but the worst is possible.
i'm afraid of what the surgery is going to do to my dad's mental faculties, his motor ability...what changes in those things mean for me.

i feel good, optimistic, and i know deep down that whatever happens, happens. i don't know where i got the ability to deal, but i'm thankful for it.
linkidiot, slow down

it is done [Jan. 29th, 2008|03:09 pm]
navigating the bad juju
march 19 through april 9.
costa------>nicaragua-------->el sal

whoooaaaa nelly!
linkidiot, slow down

the end is near [Jan. 27th, 2008|11:54 am]
navigating the bad juju
after all the shit talking i've done about leaving this town, i am finally lighting out for new adventures.
moving out, selling my belongings (some of them), and heading south.

the only solid plan is that i will no longer be living in my apartment come march 1st. hanging out in town for a few days to save some gas money (and party). then it's on to tally for a hot minute to visit megs, and then...i don't really know. the plan stops there pretty much. if i can get my parents to buy my plane ticket (birthday present), then i'm headed to central america for 3 weeks. afterwards, i'll probably go home and work a bit, then head to eleuthera to do some volunteering, then come back home and figure out what i want to do next.

it's a little scary, all this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants stuff, but more exciting. things have been stagnant for so long...you know when you just feel change coming? it's going to be a really good year.
i'm going to be brave. even if it means i have to live with the 'rents for a couple months.

yay for life!
linkidiot, slow down

always deliver [Dec. 31st, 2007|03:45 am]
navigating the bad juju
[music |my morning jacket//Z]

let me begin by stating that i am thoroughly intoxicated at the moment.

ok, so first off:
that someecards site reaaaalllyy makes it easy to step over the line. really, really easy. i fucking love it. you use it for close friends, and perhaps more significantly, recent semi-enemies that you think it might be fun to fuck with, eevn though you're "just kidding"

next up:
the most recent dude i've been testing the waters with ended up being just as big a sissy as the last one, which i didn't expect. what a bummer!! but really, at least this way i don't have to do the breaking up. who's the sissy now?? SHUT UP!
i think this is the perfect opportunity to stop taking the evil pill that's made me gain about 15 pounds and a false sense of security. what of it?

i'm excited that it's almost 2008.
i'm thrilled at the semi-real prospect of moving to a pirate island where the people are simple and boozed, and the rent is cheapish.
i can't fucking wait to be in BRKLYN again, outsider art fest whaaaaaat what.

linkidiot, slow down

(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2007|12:39 am]
navigating the bad juju
i found a small studio on the water in matlacha for 450 bucks a month.
might not be able to pass it up.
linkidiot, slow down

susudeio, the greatest song ever recorded. [Dec. 28th, 2007|05:52 am]
navigating the bad juju
been really nice having some time off. doing a lot of nothing, and a LOT of partying--
"get cheddared and righteous" is the theme.
spent good quality time with family and friends-Pops is on the upswing and felt good enough to party xmas eve and xmas day with his closest pals.
drank a twelve of modelo last night, had a fire on the porch, took a moonlight cruise down the river, made out/made some bad decisions. not bad, exactly, very deja vu, its kinda amusing really.

"dont ruin our town" is a shared sentiment, but too little too late.
I have brief flashes of the good life here, but then boredom sets in, I get the itch to move, the usual.

I feel like a shark lately. a wild hair is in here somewhere. I just want to wreck a path of total makeout destruction. so far so good.
band of horses/back to atlanta sunday.
just when I was starting to lose my winter pallor...
linkidiot, slow down

absolutely stolen from jd. [Dec. 20th, 2007|09:44 pm]
navigating the bad juju
i like your idea.
2007, in a nutshell:

-perhaps this is what they call perspective.
-chock full of msg and the heady scent of ripe ocean-dwelling creatures, i had one bite when i got home and almost yakked. into the garbage that went...until today. it was still sitting on top so i pulled it out thinking i should give it another shot...not bad. pretty tasty, and would go well with beer.
-it's the unknown element, i can't resist.
-out of the blue crazy.
-just make the choice that feels the best, in the gut.
-how I got so lucky...i dunno. life is awesome.
-pinch me!
-life is like 60-40 right now, with total suckiness in the lead.
-small decisions about right now are a lot more fun, and it makes life much better than looking so far forward all the time.

december's not over yet. my emotions are mixed lately. there have been a couple episodes of "OHSHITFUCK" here recently, which i'd been managing to avoid for the most part all year. sneaky brain. i started another blog, dedicated to recording things that inspire me, like i used to do. i miss art. i miss it real bad. i catch myself starting the funeral for my creativity, and then i get real sad. i'm putting energy back into staying inspired.
link1 going 1,000 miles per second|idiot, slow down

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